He and his intended meet the next day to talk.

Long story short, she said, “I don’t ever want to marry you.”

He replied, “Geez, that information might have been a little more useful to me YESTERDAY.”

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I HAVE FELT AT DIFFERENT POINTS OF MY TRAUMA RECOVERY JOURNEY. I’m just bopping along, trying different strategies and therapies, going to doctor visits and reading books, and some random person will tell me a vital fact and I will throw my hands up and say, “THIS INFORMATION WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY USEFUL YESTERDAY.”

Is it just me? Being in the mental health system for almost 20 years, I’ve got to believe that other trauma survivors feel this way. This is why I made little informational booklet with the five things I WISH I had known about trauma recovery when I started back in the early 2000s.

So What’s in it for Trauma Survivors?

Excellent question!

These five things encompass what I wish I would have known when I started. I’m talking about some pretty “Captain Obvious” stuff that I wish someone had sat me down and told me. This appeals to my structured, orderly, linear side. I can function creatively within structure. I can accept the twists and turns of healing with the comfort of some structure.

While it is freeing and comforting to know that there’s no “one” or “right” way to heal from different traumas in our lives, there also isn’t a definitive guidebook that tells us what to expect.

Our journeys are different, yes, but we share some important principles. Really good, hopeful, supportive things.

How to Get Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know

Scoring this free but mighty booklet is easy – fill out the form below to sign up for email from Map Your Healing Journey, where I talk about and practice PTSD Remediation as a Trauma Recovery Coach. I send out maybe one email a week and – of course – all of your info remains private and confidential.

Find Out More About How I Help People

• What is a Trauma Recovery Coach?
• Why am I a Trauma Recovery Coach?
• Can you really stop PTSD symptoms? (I did it myself!)

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes.

Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery Coaching for Free! Book an appointment or schedule your FREE 30-minute discovery call to learn more!

The post Score Your Copy of the Top Five Things Trauma Survivors Need to Know appeared first on PTSD Parent.

I am stoked that PTSD Parent and The Flinch are featured in the Sweatpants & Sanity column of Sweatpants & Coffee. This website is one of my all-time favorites in the history of Earth (or whatever, that’s cool and stuff…). When they asked if I would like to write up something about PTSD Parent, I jumped at the chance.

The article begins:

The Flinch has always been there.

I first remember The Flinch when I was a junior in high school. My family imploded from years of alcoholism and abuse. I came forward, telling anyone who would listen that my father had sexually abused me for several years.

Every time I told somebody, there was The Flinch. A physical reaction, like I had delivered an open-handed slap to the face. Or an involuntary emotional reaction that I saw just behind the other person’s eyes; like an emotional smack or a curtain closing.

I saw The Flinch a lot, until one day, it wasn’t there anymore because I stopped speaking. My voice went dormant. I studied hard and worked my way through my last year of high school and then college. I eventually got a job as a teacher and I got married and had kids. All the while, blissfully pretending that nothing flinchable had ever happened to me.

Okay, not blissfully pretending. How about straight up denial? Because I was “over it.” I had gone to counseling when I was in college and I had “moved on.”

Until I had a complete breakdown about ten years ago, and my recovery really began.

Click here to read the rest of the article over at Sweatpants & Coffee!

Here’s the video that I made for PTSD Parent that talks more about The Flinch:

About PTSD Parent

We’re glad you found us! PTSD Parent educates, supports, and inspires all people living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in their homes and families. At PTSD Parent, you can find helpful resources if you are a parent with PTSD, if you have a child with PTSD, and if you are a friend or family member of a loved one with this diagnosis. You can find out more about PTSD Parent and go here to sign up for email updates!

The post Sweatpants & Coffee Shares What You Need to Know About The Flinch appeared first on PTSD Parent.

This is a common direction that I receive as a speaker and comedian. Whether I am telling a set of jokes about mental illness at an evening event or speaking about my story at a conference, there is a definite time limit that I must respectfully stick to. The same is true of writing and submitting my PTSD story – a minimum of 500 words and often no more than 1200 total.

I wrote last week about wanting this community to be a safe space for people to share their stories about PTSD, abuse, and trauma. However, I also realize that this can feel overwhelming if not impossible. Here are some helpful steps to be able to tell your story without losing your mind.

Believe That Sharing Your Story is Healing

As a whole, I have found that people are uncomfortable as I continue to talk about my experiences with abuse and healing. They want me to “be done,” even if they have the best of intentions. Believe me, I would like to “be done” too, and I get it.

What they don’t realize is that while we will never “get over it,” we do experience significant healing through telling our stories – sometimes over and over and over again. Part of the process is to believe – sometimes over and over and over again – that your story is important.

Your voice is needed. Your story matters. You matter.

Testify! Your PTSD Witness

With your belief in place, it’s time to testify. When I was a teen and part of an active youth group, I learned how to tell my testimony in front of groups. These skills transfer over.

This is what I like to call, “The Testimony Structure” –

• Share how my life was before a Big Thing (person, event) happened
• How the Big Thing changed everything
• How my life is better now/what I’ve learned

Whenever I need to tell some aspect of my story, I turn to this structure to help. When I need to give an overview of my story, the Big Thing is when my father-in-law died, I slid into a breakdown, and was finally given my diagnosis. If I need to talk about something more specific, like triggers for example, the Big Thing can be one of my more life-changing triggers.

This structure can help keep you on track, focused on telling your story in ten minutes or 500 to 1000 words.

Use Headlines, Not Details

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder develops as a result of trauma. Our stories are bound to be disturbing, which is what makes them so healing to share. While it might be valuable to write down every single thing that happened, it’s important to keep a sense of time and place in mind.

Whenever we need to share experiences in supports groups I’ve been in, the rule has always been, “Use headlines, not details.” A headline would be, “I am an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.” The details would be far more hair-raising; I have written them, but rarely have shared them.

There are exceptions to rules, of course – if details must be included, it’s a good idea to put a Trigger Warning at the top of whatever is shared. This allows people who might be triggered by the information to decided if they are mentally and emotionally prepared to get into it.

How to Share Your Story With PTSD Parent

My plan is to begin accepting submissions very soon. I will happily accept articles from parents about various aspects of what it’s like to live and parent with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sign up for email in order to be sure when I’ll start accepting submissions.

The guidelines are:

• Articles related to PTSD (preferably with a parenting angle)
• Minimum 500 words, carefully edited
• Maximum three links in article and bio
• No affiliate links

Now that you know the guidelines, get your story ready! I can’t wait to read and share your story!

The post The Best Steps to Tell Your Story of #PTSD appeared first on PTSD Parent.