Sexual Abuse & Emotions and Feelings

In the process of going through trauma (especially sexual abuse), our survival mechanism is to disconnect the body and the brain. The first things to be shut down are emotions and feelings – sensing, allowing, connecting, identifying, processing, and communicating.

Our emotions are first felt in our bodies, and the survival instinct to disconnect the body from the brain keeps us from processing, releasing, and making meaning from these emotions and feelings. This energy lives in our cells, muscles, and tissues, making our bodies more and more uncomfortable. (For a lot more about this, check out The Body Keeps the Score.)

One of my passions in this trauma and grief recovery work is encouraging and teaching people how to feel safe and secure while reconnecting their bodies and brains. Processing emotions and feelings can feel threatening. It takes gentleness, compassion, and curiosity to begin to open the door to this kind of reconnection.

What is #sexabusechat?

The community #sexabusechat draws survivors of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault. This chat takes place primarily on Twitter, with weekly spotlights on advocates for recovery from this type of trauma. There is a guest speaker each week, and listeners can join in with a link – no need to be active on Twitter to listen in and ask questions.

My episode was about emotions and feelings and how to deal with them as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and all of the trauma that goes along with that. Some of the topics covered include why we as sexual abuse survivors have trouble regulating emotions, how to deal with emotional responses and PTSD triggers, and a helpful acronym for regulating emotions. Take a listen below ~

Additional Resources From This Episode

There was a lot to cover, and the questions and collaboration were wonderful. Some of the additional mentions include these articles, which explore the link between sexual abuse and addiction.

Understanding the Link Between Sexual Abuse & Addiction | Tranquil Shores

“A study in the Journal of Traumatic Stress indicated 90 percent of women who became dependent on alcohol were violently abused by a parent or were sexually traumatized as a child.

Additionally, youth with a history of child sexual abuse were 2-3x times more likely to have drug dependence than peers who were not traumatized.

Some studies indicate that drug abuse is more common than alcohol use in adolescents who have been sexually traumatized.”

Sexual Trauma and Addiction: Understanding Child Sexual Abuse and Drug Use – Drug Rehab Options

Speaking of addiction, Seeking Safety Coming Soon

One of my goals is to work with people with PTSD using the Seeking Safety curriculum. I’ve been through a couple of groups using Seeking Safety and really liked what it offered, as well as the group dynamic. This group is for those who have experienced trauma, or have PTSD, or are in substance use recovery, or any or all of the above. 

If you’re interested in a future Seeking Safety group, sign up below:

Try Trauma Recovery & Grief Recovery Coaching

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know

Find out more about Trauma and Grief Recovery Coaching

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes. Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery and Grief Recovery Coaching for Free! Book an appointment or schedule your FREE 30-minute discovery call to learn more!

The post Sexual Abuse & Emotions and Feelings on #sexabusechat appeared first on PTSD Parent.

He and his intended meet the next day to talk.

Long story short, she said, “I don’t ever want to marry you.”

He replied, “Geez, that information might have been a little more useful to me YESTERDAY.”

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I HAVE FELT AT DIFFERENT POINTS OF MY TRAUMA RECOVERY JOURNEY. I’m just bopping along, trying different strategies and therapies, going to doctor visits and reading books, and some random person will tell me a vital fact and I will throw my hands up and say, “THIS INFORMATION WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY USEFUL YESTERDAY.”

Is it just me? Being in the mental health system for almost 20 years, I’ve got to believe that other trauma survivors feel this way. This is why I made little informational booklet with the five things I WISH I had known about trauma recovery when I started back in the early 2000s.

So What’s in it for Trauma Survivors?

Excellent question!

These five things encompass what I wish I would have known when I started. I’m talking about some pretty “Captain Obvious” stuff that I wish someone had sat me down and told me. This appeals to my structured, orderly, linear side. I can function creatively within structure. I can accept the twists and turns of healing with the comfort of some structure.

While it is freeing and comforting to know that there’s no “one” or “right” way to heal from different traumas in our lives, there also isn’t a definitive guidebook that tells us what to expect.

Our journeys are different, yes, but we share some important principles. Really good, hopeful, supportive things.

How to Get Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know

Scoring this free but mighty booklet is easy – fill out the form below to sign up for email from Map Your Healing Journey, where I talk about and practice PTSD Remediation as a Trauma Recovery Coach. I send out maybe one email a week and – of course – all of your info remains private and confidential.

Find Out More About How I Help People

• What is a Trauma Recovery Coach?
• Why am I a Trauma Recovery Coach?
• Can you really stop PTSD symptoms? (I did it myself!)

Sign up here to get a free copy of Five Things Every Trauma Survivor Needs to Know

I offer one-on-one sessions, groups, PTSD Remediation, and classes.

Appointments are offered in-person and online.

Try Trauma Recovery Coaching for Free! Book an appointment or schedule your FREE 30-minute discovery call to learn more!

The post Score Your Copy of the Top Five Things Trauma Survivors Need to Know appeared first on PTSD Parent.

So What is a Trauma Recovery Coach?

I get this question a lot, and with good reason. Becoming a Trauma Recovery Coach is on the cutting edge of mental health, which means that this is an innovative way to provide mental health care. Also, it means that nobody knows what I do, exactly.

In short, I help trauma survivors build a life they have always deserved and wanted. But how?

Here are several questions that help explain my role as a Trauma Recovery Coach. Is there a question I didn’t answer? Please add it in the comments!

Is This Therapy?

Therapy is a good place to start when explaining what a Trauma Recovery Coach does with clients. Therapists and Trauma Recovery Coaches meet with clients and work on specific issues over time. Therapists and Trauma Recovery Coaches know a ton about trauma, mental illnesses, grief and loss, and more. We all care about our clients reaching healing milestones and creating the happiness and life they have always deserved and wanted.

So what are the differences? Therapists do three things that Trauma Recovery Coaches do not do: diagnose mental illness, prescribe or suggest different medications, and create specific treatment plans. I know a lot about mental illnesses but I do not diagnose. This is out of my scope of competence. It takes several years to learn how to diagnose, and sometimes professionals still get it wrong before they get it right. I also do not suggest or prescribe medication, which is the job of a medical doctor or psychiatrist.

Last, I don’t create treatment plans. Individuals come to me and we work together on the issues and challenges that are present. We live in the now, and we lead from behind, providing voice and choice for our clients.

Is This Just Life Coaching?

I am confident about providing life coaching if that’s what clients are looking for. One aspect of life coaching in that I support my clients and what they want to do in their lives. However, I provide so much more as a Trauma Recovery Coach.

The primary difference is that Trauma Recovery Coaches are trauma-informed. We are trained to understand and address the unique challenges and mindsets that trauma survivors experience. As a trauma survivor myself, I have a unique perspective and set of skills to address trauma-related issues as we meet over time.

Do Trauma Recovery Coaches Work with PTSD?

Absolutely! Trauma Recovery Coaches have all kinds of specialties. My specific specialty is PTSD Remediation. Diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 2006, I lived with PTSD for most of my life, until PTSD Remediation eradicated the symptoms. I continue to learn all I can about PTSD and the emotional, mental, and physiological fallout from childhood sexual abuse. That is my background and I have passion and purpose to help others with these issues.

Are Trauma Recovery Coaches Certified?

Trauma Recovery Coaches need to be certified. As of now (fall 2021), I am waiting on certification from the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching. I just need my portfolio to be approved! But I have had the necessary education for certification. Plus I will continue to studying with them – and other notable organizations – to gain more knowledge, wisdom, and experience.

What if I’m Not a Trauma Survivor?

Everyone struggles with different things. I welcome people of all kinds, trauma or not. We are in this together.

How Do I Find Out More About Trauma Recovery Coaching?

I offer a free 30-minute discovery call so that you can find out what you need to know, if we have a connection, and if you want to move forward on this journey of hope and healing. Another way is to sign up here to keep in touch and get to know me a little better!

Do you have more questions? Put them in the comments for more answers!

The post PTSD and Trauma Recovery Coaching appeared first on PTSD Parent.

The good news is that there are ways we can protect ourselves during the July 4th holiday from environmental triggers that can eat up an hour or a day or more of our lives. Here are five ways to lessen the impact of the noisy July 4th celebrations. Enjoy the acronym, where if you put the first letters of each one together, it makes the word SPARK!

I know, I’m sorry, I can’t help it. Hopefully, though, one or more of these suggestions will resonate and be useful during the July 4th weekend.

Stay Home…or Don’t

Staying home is one of the safest ways to guard against PTSD environmental triggers during this holiday. But maybe you’re not into isolating or staying home.

The important point is that you have the choice and you have your own voice. You get to decide how, where, and when you will – or will not – celebrate our nation’s birthday over the weekend. You get to decide if you will stay for the fireworks or if you will stay home. Either way, you remain in control, and that in itself will help cut down triggers.

Plan Ahead

Planning ahead also helps to avoid unexpected triggers, even if your plan is to not have a plan. If structure helps, create a schedule of the activities for the weekend and especially for July 4th. Maybe there’s a fun parade in town, or maybe the crowds would be too much. Perhaps some time relaxing by a nearby river or lake would be welcome, or inviting people over for a barbecue. Maybe you would rather take advantage of the holiday with some typical weekend activities and a nap. Making a plan will help soothe your nervous system and make it easier to cope.

Ask for Help

If you’re spending time with others during the July 4th holiday, setting some preventative boundaries can help avoid potential triggers. Decide what you want to do on that day. For example, do you want to go to any barbecues? The town’s parade? The fireworks?

If you do decide to participate in any of these activities, consider that you don’t have to stay the whole time. You always have a choice. And you don’t have to do any of this alone. Go to these events with trusted friends and family members who are aware of your triggers and what you might need. When you feel a trigger coming on, you’ll be able to ask for what you need, including space and time for quiet or to simply get going.

Rest Beforehand

Let’s face it, these events and the possible triggers are exhausting. They are also fun and exciting, but they require some planning on our end to make things as peaceful as possible during this holiday. Be ready to deal with triggers by resting up beforehand so that you can make the most of the time out with friends and family at these fun activities. And do not forget to rest afterward to be able to enjoy the demands of everyday life.

Know Your Self-Soothing Skills

Escaping for a couple of moments to self-soothe is an important way to be able to have fun and practice self-care. This could look like escaping the heat by finding a piece of cool shade and spending some time alone. Breathing techniques, grounding exercises, and meditation are also helpful for self-soothing anywhere and at any time. I’ve been known to do a short meditation in a friend’s bathroom so that I practice self-soothing and avoid potential triggers.

There are many ways to help ensure that this fourth of July weekend will be a celebration worth remembering. And fortunately, the choices are yours to make regarding how you enjoy it!

The post PTSD and the July 4th Holiday appeared first on PTSD Parent.

And now I’m teaching people how to do that by learning how to write and perform stand up comedy.

Mental Health at the Mic to Make Fun of PTSD

I have two passions in my vocational life, and I am relieved that they are related: PTSD and comedy. With my Partner in PTSD (Chris), I co-founded the PTSD Parent Podcast and Facebook Live videos (now found on Youtube), which is funny but also talks about serious PTSD stuff. With my mental health advocate friend Dave, I co-founded Mental Health at the Mic, which is also funny and also talks about serious PTSD and mental health stuff.

Mental Health at the Mic is a program that teaches people with mental health challenges – like PTSD – how to write and perform stand up comedy. There are many advantages  to using comedy to deal with PTSD – I know personally, because I went through the comedy class when it was called something else. Sure, it was scary – but it was the good kind of fear. It felt like getting my power back.

[Tweet “There are many advantages to using comedy to deal with PTSD – I know personally, because I’ve done it.”]

So How Do You Make Fun of PTSD?

The answer to this question is the same as for, “How do two porcupines make love?” The answer: very carefully.

The old therapy metaphor of peeling the onion – peeling back the layers – to get to the sources of trauma and heal them up works here too. I’ve been doing comedy for almost 10 years (intentionally), and I would still say about 25 percent of my jokes are about PTSD.

This is because – like therapy – we don’t grab anyone by the shoulders and shake them and yell, “Talk about the worst mental illness stuff in your life!” No way! First, you learn how to craft jokes about the stuff that is most urgent and observed in your life. Then maybe go a little deeper.

The great part is, you have all the control. 

Comedy Class Details

If you are in Portland – even if you’re not – I would love for you to spend time in my comedy class with Mental Health at the Mic. (If you’re outside of Portland and interested in bringing in a weekend class, contact me here). The great news is that a comedy class is starting soon! Classes are capped at 8 to 10 students to ensure a safe and comfortable environment and plenty of support. And laughter.

When We Meet: Tuesday evenings from 6 to 8 p.m. Eight weeks of classes start July 31st! Celebration show with invited family and friends after the last night of class.

Where We Meet: The class will meet in SE Portland. Students will be sent the address before the first class.

Cost: $200 You can pay a $50 or $100 deposit now and the rest when class begins.

Sign Up for the Comedy Class Here!

Still have questions? Go here to learn more about our classes or contact us for more information!

The post Can You Make Fun of PTSD? Exciting New Class Says Yes! appeared first on PTSD Parent.

We meet when it is so early. This means that it’s 10 am on a Friday. I KNOW, I’M SUCH A CREAMPUFF WHEN IT COMES TO MORNINGS. But sometimes I walk to his house and it’s a half hour each way (uphill, of course, both ways) so I need to factor in my health and stuff. And time to drink my coffee before that. So there’s a lot going on, basically.

Surprise! Ready, Camera, Action!

I say all this because I generally don’t shower on Friday mornings before we meet. I mean, we’re sitting in front of microphones, not in front of a camera.

Usually.

The last time I went over, he surprised me with a camera set up in his kitchen, which is basically where we record our shows. As I got out of my car in front of his house, Chris opened his kitchen window and yelled, “That is quite the patriotic outfit today!”

I can’t help it that I look SO GOOD in camo. It just goes with my skin tone, seriously. In the video below, you can see how much fun we had razzing on my most professional and amazing outfit. Right before we went live, I was singing Proud To Be An American by Lee Greenwood. I’m an Army brat, I know every word.

Well, I rolled with it. Chris generally has great ideas when it comes to our new show, and the live video (included below) introducing the podcast was amazing, showered or not.

How to Get More Episodes and Videos

Now that we’ve recorded video, we are sure to do more. I mean, it was too much fun. We’ll be talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in our lives and families, including symptoms, treatments, research, rumors, and stories from us and from invited guests.

We’re excited for you to be involved. Here’s how you can stay up to date on the latest:

• Subscribe to PTSD Parent to get an alert when the latest video is available
• Like the PTSD Parent Facebook page to get notified of the latest news an videos
• Subscribe to the PTSD Parent Youtube channel

Here is the intro video to the PTSD Parent Podcast

This was really fun to record, unshowered and in a weird outfit or not. This episode introducing the PTSD Parent Podcast is just a really good example of the tone of the show, our chemistry, our sense of humor, and what it’s like to have PTSD from a male and female prospective. Enjoy!

The post PTSD Parent on Video: It’s as Funny as You Hope appeared first on PTSD Parent.

We are so excited and nervous and twitterpated to launch the PTSD Parent Podcast!

The Dream I Didn’t Know I Had

There’s the popular saying about how life happens to you while you’re making other plans, you know? That’s pretty much how my life has been over the last ten years or so.

I had no long-awaited dream involving PTSD Parent, to be completely honest. I had been working through some issues and digging into PTSD recovery, and one morning I woke up and thought, “I can’t be the only parent out there with PTSD. I want to make something for us, a community, a place for inspiration and support.” And the PTSD Parent website was born.

During that process, I applied for a contest that centered around podcasting. I didn’t know anything about it, so I asked Chris. He had recently been diagnosed with PTSD and had helped with PTSD Parent, and he said, “I know a lot about podcasting, let’s enter this contest!”

So we did. We didn’t win. Then he said, “I still want to do this podcast project.” And the PTSD Parent Podcast was born.

Why Listen to This Podcast?

There’s a lot of stuff to read and listen to day in and day out, I get it. But I like this project, and I think it’s worth a listen. And I’ll tell you why:

• The episodes are about 30 minutes long, so not too long and not too short
• We talk about PTSD from a male and female perspective, digging into a variety of issues
• We are funny, so it’s not dry and trudgery (yeah, I made that word up)
• It’s educational in spite of itself, so good for family members and friends of people with PTSD
• There’s a lot of room to grow, and we look forward to having guests in upcoming seasons

We have had fun recording so far, and I think you can tell when you listen.

Where Can We Listen to the PTSD Parent Podcast?

We have a dedicated page to the PTSD Parent Podcast that you can bookmark – it will be updated with new seasons as they become available. Oh, and look! Here are episode right here:

More Places to Listen

We’re working on getting the podcast in as many places as we can so that people can listen anytime they want. Here are links to other places where you can currently find and listen to the PTSD Parent Podcast!

• iTunes
• Libsyn Feed – http://ptsdparent.libsyn.com/rss
• Libsyn PTSD Parent Podcast Page
• Spotify – Still waiting for it to be uploaded, it takes a couple of weeks

The post PTSD Parent Podcast: What You Need to Know appeared first on PTSD Parent.

I didn’t think I would need to write a post about using kids’ movies to teach your littles about sexual abuse, but here we are (Note: post updated on 5/25/18, details below).

I woke up this morning to a Facebook post from one of my mental health advocate friends about the movie, Show Dogs. Of course, I shared it on the PTSD Parent Facebook page, but my mind (and my stomach) keep churning over it. The more I think about it, the more powerless I feel.

And the angrier I get.

A Warning for a Kids’ Movie?

I have been to my share of kids’ movies – my boys are now 13 and 16 years old. I have sat through endless hours of puns, fart jokes, butt gags, heartwarming endings, and yes, I have even cried (To this day, my kids gently razz me because I refuse to see How to Train Your Dragon 2 again, as I sat in the theater and sobbed through my first viewing of it and I just…can’t do it again).

And I have not once – NEVER – looked up warnings or even reviews before seeing a kids’ movie with my boys. I mean, it’s a movie for kids. I’ve seen different articles here and there about how Harry Potter is of the devil (way back in my church days) and how the minions of Despicable Me are a glorification of evil (more recent in my non-church days), but nothing – NOTHING – like this most current issue with Show Dogs making its way across advocacy and mom websites.

Using a Kids’ Movie to Teach Them About Abuse?

The post Show Dogs, Don’t Let Your Children Be Groomed, Use This to Teach Them has gotten quite a bit of attention thanks to the helpful review about how the movie can be used to teach your kids about abuse.

Let that sink in for a moment. I mean, just sit for a minute and let that message permeate the parts of your brain that turns into Momma Bears and Daddy Bears when someone wants to hurt your kid.

THERE ARE PARTS OF A KIDS MOVIE THAT I CAN USE TO TEACH MY KIDS ABOUT ABUSE? UM, WHAT?

Yes, I know – keep calm. Maybe this part of the movie is about how someone tried to lure the dog away with candy and the dog barked and ran for safety or how the dog used their smarts to stay safe and get help in a different dicey situation. No, friends, this is about ignoring all of your instincts regarding other people touching your private parts.

Trigger Warning: The Review and Grooming

The irony has not escaped me – a comedian by profession – about the “grooming” pun in this situation, and it makes my stomach turn. Oh, I AM SO MAD.

Keep in mind that I offer this with a trigger warning. Here’s part of the review referenced above by Macaroni Kid:

Since the inspection of the private parts will happen in the finals, Frank touches Max’s private parts to get him use to it.  Of course, Max doesn’t like it and snaps at Frank for him to stop.  Max is then told by the former champion, who has been through the process before, that he needs to go to his “zen place” while it happens so he can get through it.  More attempts are made by Frank to touch Max’s private parts, but Max is still having trouble letting it happen and keeps snapping at him.

The day of the finals come and if Max doesn’t let his private parts be touched, he may lose the competition and any hope of finding the kidnapped panda.  It all rests on his ability to let someone touch his private parts.  The judge’s hands slowly reach behind Max and he goes to his “zen place”.  He’s flying through the sky, dancing with his partner, there are fireworks and flowers-everything is great-all while someone is touching his private parts.

In terms of my years of therapy due to prolonged sexual abuse and resulting C-PTSD, this is called grooming and dissociation.

This is a very real way that predators groom their victims. It is disgusting.

So What Now?

All I know is that I got my coffee an hour ago, sat down, read the review, lost my shit, and am writing this post. I have no plan except to share this information as far and wide as I can.

Do not take your kids to see Show Dogs. 

And spread the word.

Update

Well, collective outrage was effective, at least enough to reach the levels that produced change. According to a CNN article published on 5/23/18, Show Dogs is “…undergoing edits to remove the objectionable content” by the studio.

One of the statements included:

Global Road Entertainment, which co-produced and co-financed the film with Riverstone Pictures, initially issued a statement explaining that examinations were common practice in dog shows but apologized “to any parent who feels the scene sends a message other than a comedic moment in the film.”

Yeah, pathetic. That’s not an apology. But sucky apologies would be a completely separate blog post. So the movie will be changed for this weekend’s viewing. I still won’t be seeing it.

About PTSD Parent

We’re glad you found us! PTSD Parent educates, supports, and inspires all people living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in their homes and families. At PTSD Parent, you can find helpful resources if you are a parent with PTSD, if you have a child with PTSD, and if you are a friend or family member of a loved one with this diagnosis. You can find out more about PTSD Parent and go here to sign up for email updates!

The post How to Use “Show Dogs” To Teach Kids About Abuse appeared first on PTSD Parent.

As a young 24-year-old, I spent two and half weeks in Kenya with undiagnosed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Spoiler alert: I totally triggered out about halfway through, with no understanding or explanation of what was going on in my brain.

It was during that trip that I heard a phrase from one of the other church group members on our team. We stood in a patchy field under the dappling shadows of one of many types of unfamiliar trees in the countryside outside of Nairobi. Goats and cows grazed nearby.

We held small cups of chai. I call it Barnyard Chai, because if the cup is held under an udder *and* you pick hay out of your cup to take a drink, then it’s from a barnyard.

A fly flew into my new friend’s cup of Barnyard Chai, landed, and died. Legs straight and wings limp, the black raisin-like body floated on the surface of the beige liquid.

She sighed and said, “This is not me. I am not here.” And she reached in and flicked the fly out of her cup, taking a swig.

PTSD Escapism: “This is not me, I am not here”

That phrase was magic. First, I cracked up, of course, watching the dead fly arc through the air, landing in the dirt. Genius, I thought.

I hung on to that phrase and used it through years of turmoil and trauma. A few years later when my first child was born in the midst of a rare pregnancy disease and we both almost died. A couple of years after that, when my second child was born after I spent a month in the hospital on mandatory bedrest. A year after that, when I broke after a cherished family member died. Through the years of my children’s infancy and toddlerhood, through nights and weekends alone when my husband was working his demanding job, through job changes and layoffs, when friendships died and when I staved off the dark cloud of hopelessness that threatened to engulf me.

Now my children are 15 and 12 years old. My marriage is being broken down and built back up. And I’m thinking that this PTSD escapism and daydreaming and fantasy world isn’t the best coping skill anymore.

From Dissociation to Escapism

At this point, I feel like I need to remind everyone that I am not a therapist or medical professional. I am a person who was diagnosed with C-PTSD in 2006 and have been living out my healing and recovery ever since. If you have additional questions about PTSD, dissociation, and dissociative identity disorder, please contact a medical professional.

Dissociation is that emotional numbing that we feel, the sensation of being outside of ourselves while the trauma was happening and when we have nightmares and flashbacks. I personally consider dissociation involuntary, as this is what my brain did when my sexual abuse happened. My brain protected me through unplugging me from the trauma as it took place over the years.

I experience dissociation when I have PTSD triggers, resulting in both intense emotions and my perceived inability and difficulty handling these emotions. Other symptoms can include unexpected mood swings, feeling separate from yourself and others, and trouble concentrating or with memory.

These sensations are familiar to me now, part of the trigger process, and they eventually fade. Escapism, though – I think this has become a problem for me.

The Habit of Escapism

Escapism for me is such a strong habit that it almost seems involuntary. A compulsion. In my research, this is my favorite description of what escapism has become for me:

Escapism is a way of attempting to make negative feelings dissipate, without working through the necessary steps in order to come to relief through mental resolution. It’s a false economy, a quick fix, a crutch, a placebo. Sadly, like all addictions, it will only reinforce your feelings of anxiety further, whilst you seek out new ways to cope. And exactly like all addictions, such coping strategies will begin to unravel, break down and ultimately fail.

Every day, many times throughout the day, I live in this fantasy world that keeps me insulated from real life. The result is feeling increasingly disconnected and alone.

I was recently put on a strict diet by my doctor, which seems unrelated, but it is not. I have serious health issues that require this strict diet, or I will need to go on medication as my health inevitably gets worse. I’m 43 years old. I’m not ready to give up. At the same time, I am fighting against a compulsion to eat, another addiction to sugar and comfort that grew out of a traumatic childhood.

And like my doctor gave me a wake up call with eating and my health, my brain’s escapism habit began to leak into my real life. Stealing it. This is tough and even embarrassing for me to admit, but there it is.

Eating. Fantasy life. Porn. TV and movies. Social media. Alcohol and drug addiction. These are all forms of escapism.

Escaping the PTSD Escapism

I wish I had the unequivocal answer for how to escape the habit – the compulsion – the perceived need of escapism. The thing about escapism is that it is a choice. I – we – have control over our thoughts, regardless of what we believe. We can choose to be present, to practice be-ing in the midst of the pain and emptiness and fear of the dark cloud.

When I have practiced mindfulness – the settling and breathing and looking my emotions and PTSD escapism right in the face – I have encountered the person I really am. Those pieces of me that were shattered and stolen. Those jagged shards that were not destroyed.

And if I wasn’t destroyed by all that, I’m certainly not going to be destroyed by simply working to heal.

The post When is PTSD Escapism a Bad Thing? appeared first on PTSD Parent.

I am honored and excited to be a speaker in Grit & Grace, a program put on by ASHA International in the middle of May. This organization has recently developed a speakers bureau – of which I am a part – and the Grit & Grace show is our launch!

While it’s pretty common knowledge that I am a comedian and an author, it’s less well-known that I am also a speaker and storyteller. Like, of a serious kind…that said, I usually can’t resist throwing in a couple of jokes. And by “can’t resist,” I mean that I literally cannot help myself.

If you’re in the Portland metro area, I would love to have you join us for an evening of storytelling by myself and some of my favorite people in the world. Badasses, all of them, telling stories about hope and healing.

Details of the Grit & Grace Program

Admission is free to the public! Please RSVP by emailing gayathri@myasha.org.

When: Thursday, May 17th at 7:00 pm

Where: Intel Hawthorne Farm Auditorium, 5200 NE Elam Young Parkway in Hillsboro

Doors open at 6:30!

Here’s a handy photo flyer to help spread the word!

Please Join Us!

The post Mark Your Calendar to Enjoy Grit and Grace appeared first on PTSD Parent.